How to Find Out Someone's Size for a Gift Without Asking

Why the size is where gifts go wrong

Clothes are hard to get right even when we buy them for ourselves. In an Opinium survey of 2,002 UK shoppers for Barclaycard, sizing was the biggest reason people gave for sending clothes back, and two in five said they return clothes bought online because they do not fit as expected.

Buying for someone else, you are guessing twice: the size they take, and how this particular brand cuts it. A medium in one shop is a small in another, and shoe and ring sizes run differently across the UK, the US and Europe. Add colour, which looks different on a screen, and it is easy to see why so many presents end up back in the shop or at the back of a drawer.

Check something they already own

The most reliable size is the one on a label they already wear. Look inside a favourite top, a coat or a pair of jeans when you are next round, or offer to help with the washing and note the size and the brand. A quick photo of the label on your phone is easier than remembering it.

For shoes, the size is usually printed inside the tongue or on the sole. For rings, borrow one they wear on the same finger the gift is for and trace the inside on paper, or slip it onto a ring sizer, which costs very little online. A ring from a different finger or hand is not a safe guide.

Write down the brand as well as the number. A size 12 in a brand they love is far more useful than a size 12 in general, because you can then buy from that brand or compare against its size guide.

Ask someone who knows

A partner, a parent, a sibling or a housemate can often check a wardrobe in a minute, and they are unlikely to give you away. Ask them for the size and the brand, and while you are at it, the colours the person actually wears rather than the ones you imagine them in.

This works well in a family Secret Santa too. If you drew a cousin's partner you have met twice, a quiet message to the cousin will usually get you further than a guess.

Read the size the way the brand does

Once you have a size, check it against the shop's own size guide before you buy. Most brands list chest, waist and foot measurements as well as letter sizes, and the measurements travel between brands far better than the label does.

Watch for the region too. UK, US and European shoe and clothing sizes use different numbers, so a UK 6 shoe is not a US 6. If the shop is abroad, find the conversion on its own size chart rather than a general one, as brands vary.

In a Secret Santa: ask your match anonymously

Secret Santa makes sizes harder, because asking outright gives you away. In a HintDrop draw you do not have to. Everyone gets a private link by email to their match page, and on that page there is a box to ask the person you are buying for a question. They get an email saying their Secret Santa has a question, answer it on their own page, and the answer comes back to you by email. They only ever see the words your Secret Santa, never your name.

You can ask up to 5 questions a day, so you can ask for a size and a favourite colour without flooding their inbox. Nobody needs an account to ask or answer. A size question does tell them something wearable might be coming, so if you want to keep that a surprise too, ask it alongside a couple of other questions. There are more ideas at hintdrop.app/secret-santa/ask-anonymously.

Let them write the details down in advance

The cleanest fix is for the person to say what they want, in the size and colour they want, before anyone starts shopping. Every hint saved on HintDrop has room for that: a size (such as M, 10 or EU 42), the size type (clothing, shoes, dress, ring or other), a colour, and a short note for anything a link cannot hold, like not the sparkly one, or the wide fit. Whoever opens the hint sees those details next to the product, so they can buy the exact thing.

It is worth doing for yourself, too. If you add your sizes to a few hints before Christmas or your birthday, nobody has to guess, and you still do not know who is buying what. The guide at hintdrop.app/how-to-drop-a-hint shows how to save one from any shop.

If you are still not sure

Include a gift receipt, every time you buy something sized. It is easy to forget: in research by Ireland's Competition and Consumer Protection Commission, 42% of people said they never include a gift receipt with a Christmas present. Shops in Ireland and the UK do not have to take back an item just because it is the wrong size, but most have their own returns policy, often longer over Christmas, and they will usually want a receipt or gift receipt.

If you bought online, the cooling off period in Ireland and the EU runs from the day the parcel was delivered to you, not the day it was unwrapped. Buy early and that window can close before Christmas, so check the shop's own returns window too.

Between two sizes, choose the bigger one for knitwear, loungewear and anything relaxed, as a little room is a smaller problem than a squeeze. For fitted things, like jeans, shoes and rings, it is better to find out than to guess.

Or choose a gift that needs no size at all

When there is no way to find out, step around the problem. A good candle, a soft throw, a well made mug, a book, a box of something delicious, a plant or a ticket to something all fit everyone. So do scarves, most hats, wallets and bags.

These are also the safest Secret Santa gifts when you do not know someone well. The home picks on this page are a good place to start, and the Secret Santa gift ideas guide has more at every budget.

Asking is not less thoughtful

Many people avoid asking because it feels like it spoils the magic. The research says otherwise. In studies published in the Journal of Experimental Social Psychology, Francis Flynn and Francesca Gino found that people appreciated gifts they had asked for more than unrequested ones, and saw them as more thoughtful. Givers assumed the surprise would land better.

The surprise does not have to go. They can know their size is written down somewhere and still have no idea what is coming, or who it is from.